One thing about traveling as an American, is that when you’re mingling with the locals, there will never be a shortage of questions, concerns, and a variety of ways to politely insult your heritage. They’ll range from the weird and hilarious to tinkering along the lines of “OH HAIL NAW” offensive.

I asked a few of my American friends from well-traveled backgrounds and a network of American teachers abroad, to share some of their craziest questions or comments they’ve been told while traveling or living in another country.

And once the responses started coming in, it made me look at things from a different angle, as I started noticing a bit a trend between the questions asked to my White-American friends and Black-American ones. The differences will make you laugh, cringe, and question life altogether. So in this post, I’ve segregated separated the questions to help give you guys perspective on just how different your experience can be traveling abroad as a “standard-looking” American (the standards by other countries at least) and as a Black American.

The first list, are questions that were asked to my friends, but I decided to add MY OWN personal responses as if I were in that situation. Feel free to adapt answers for future use as needed.

QUESTIONS TO EXPECT AS A TRAVELING AMERICAN:

1. -“You’re American?! So are you from LA? New York? Or Texas?"
   Yes. All 3.
   
   

2. -“Do you ride horses a lot?”
   Only when I’m doing the Oregon Trail. Just like they taught me in school.
   
   

3. -“Why don’t you guys have more trains?”
   Because ‘Merica.
   
   

4. -“What is it with those red [solo] cups?”
   They bring out my eyes.
   
   

5. -“Why do Americans wear such brightly-colored shoes?”
   We like people being able to spot our freedom from far away.
   
   

6. -“Doesn't it bother you that your President doesn't seem to be respected by his own people?"
   Yes. I wish Hawaiians respected him more too.
   
   

7. -“Does your family own guns?”
   Yes, my sister works out and she’s loaded.
   
   

8. -“Do you own guns?”
   Yes, but I wasn’t always licensed to carry these bad boys *flex arms here*
   

1. -“Are a lot of Americans really fat?”
   Yes, when standing next to Victoria Secret models. We’re all pretty much clinically obese.
   

1. -“Why are Americans so loud and obnoxious?”
   Because ‘Merica.
   
   

2. -“Do you live near Disney?”
   Practically neighbors.
   
   

3. -“Is it true you guys recycle condoms to make baby bottles and that's why Americans have sex at such young ages?” (I know, I’m still trying to process the sense, or lack thereof, in this too)
   Your theory is flawed on so many levels and it hurts my head, so I will just walk away now.
   
   

4. -“Why is everything so big? Cars? Houses? Roads? Stomachs?”
   Again, because ‘Merica.
   
   

5. -“Are all Americans rich?”
   No, because student loans, college, and student loans.
   
   

6. -“How big is your house?”
   About the size of *insert small nearby town here*
   
   

7. -“Do you know _______(fill in blank with Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Michael Jordan, my cousin who lives in New York, etc.)”
   Yes, yes, yes, and probably.
   
   

8. -“Have you ever been shot before? Americans are always shooting each other.”
   Yeah, but I like to call them vaccines. I usually get shot by the Flu Gang annually.
   

1. -“How is life in California? Do you see celebrities in Beverly Hills?” (This comes right after she stated she was from Minnesota).
   I don’t always see celebrities, but they usually see me.
   
   

2. -“Do you like Obama?”
   I have a chip in my wrist that doesn’t allow me to answer this type of question. But between you and me *lean in close and whisper yes, then pretend to get shocked by some sort of inner bolt*
   
   

3. -“You aren’t fat like other Americans. Do you work out?”
   No. It’s probably because I’m half Canadian.
   

Wow. Being American is exhausting. And this is only half of the feedback I got. Many of which were repeated in some form.

And while the jest is apparent in my suggested answers, one universal language in every culture is sarcasm and a bit of dry humor. If I were to actually give these answers, bear in mind it’d be followed with a joking gesture and a more informative one soon after.

Okay, now for the real entertainment. Brace yourselves. These are 100% real conversations/questions/comments. Replies in this list were by the person they were submitted from only.

QUESTIONS TO EXPECT AS A BLACK-AMERICAN:

1. -“How does your hair stay braided like that? Can I touch it? Can my friend touch it?”
   
   

2. -“If you’re eating chocolate, how do you know when to stop?”
   
   

3. -“Can I rub dirt on you? You won’t be able to see where, right? Since you’re the same color.”
   
   

4. -“I bet you can sing really good. All black people can sing.”
   
   

5. -“How come the top of your skin is black, but underneath (palm of hands) are white?”
   
   

6. -“Do you wear sunscreen? What for?”
   
   

7. -“Are you related to Obama?”
   
   

8. -“OBAMAAAA! YES WE CAN!!!”
   
   

9. -“Do black people own cars?”
   
   

10. -“I want to go to Africa one day, after they finish dealing with their Ebola.”
    
    

11. -“How did you get your hair like that?”
    
    

12. -“Did you know Michael Jackson?”
    
    

13. -“Teacher, why are you so chocolate? I will eat you!”
    
    

14. -“Where are you from?”
    “I’m African-American.”
    “So what part of Africa is that?”
    
    

15. -“Do you sunburn?”
    
    

16. -“Can you dance like the people in the music videos?”
    
    

17. -“Do you wash your hair?”
    
    

18. -“Where in Africa are you originally from?”
    “I’m from America.”
    “But where are you originally from?”
    “My mom and dad are both Americans.”
    “Okay, but your grandparents?”
    “They are also American. Just like Obama.”
    “Ahhh, you are Obama's daughter, Malia Obama?!”
    “I wish.”
    
    

19. -”Do you know Serena Williams? She has hair like you too!”
    
    

20. -“Oh you’re Michelle Obama? So beautiful!” (followed by her begging for money)
    
    

21. -“Are you related to Michelle Obama?”
    
    

22. -“I know you two! Venus and Serena Williams! Come, take a picture with me!” (my friend and I look nothing like the Williams Sisters)
    
    

23. -“Why are your palms white? Are your feet white too? You wash your hands too much. Black people have very white teeth. Why do you say you are black? You are not black. You are brown. You are from America? Impossible. How did you get there? You are from Africa. Black people are only from Africa.”
    

1. -“Do you wash your hair? Black people probably don't wash their hair. That's why it looks like that. You should wash your hair more and it will look like mine.”
   
   

2. -“Let’s make babies. I want black babies.”
   
   

3. -A Chinese lady started following us. I kept telling my husband she was following us, so finally we turned around and she said "Beyonce!?" and then held up her camera to take a picture.
   
   

4. -“Do y’all prefer to be called blacks or African-Americans? Why do some of y'all say African-American but you have never been to Africa?”
   
   

5. -“Do your people have cars in Africa?”
   
   

6. -“Do you live with monkeys and other animals in Africa?”
   
   

7. -“Don't touch or lean on my car, do you guys have cars and houses in Africa? Is that why you left Africa and came to Korea?”
   
   

8. -“What part of Africa are you from?
   “I’m not from Africa, I’m American.”
   "We don't like Americans.”
   
   

9. -After failed attempts of getting me to go on a date with a man, I received an email that asked if I had a black woman to give to him, I would be paid very nicely.
   
   

10. -“What are you? Because you aren't like black, black. You don't look like the Africans that live here.”
    
    

11. -“Black women have big butts because they like to have a lot of sex. The more sex you have, the bigger your butt gets. *brief pause*
    Now stand up so I can see yours.” (This is all in front of my son, so we got up and moved as far away as possible).
    
    

12. -“You’re from the USA? Ohhhh, your face is very dark!”
    
    

13. -“Your skin is very different.”
    
    

14. -“I like black women.”
    
    

15. -“Will you be my Beyoncé?”
    
    

16. -“I like basketball and hip-hop too, just like your people.”
    
    

17. -“You’re African-American? You don't look black, look at your teeth, your nose, and your hair. It’s not like mine.” (from an African lady).
    
    

18. -While in China, someone I met couldn't fathom black women existing. They knew black men do because of the NBA, but for some reason the idea of a black woman was just too confusing.
    
    

19. -“Wow, your skin is so smooth and pretty.”
    
    

20. -“Teacher, are you Obama’s sister?”
    
    

21. -A student was turning my palm up and down. Then started chanting, “black, white, black, white.”
    
    

22. -“Your skin is softer than Koreans.”
    
    

23. -On a train from Busan, two dudes came up to me and started a conversation with, "We like rap music".
    
    

24. -On a bus in Korea a lady started touching my hair saying, “Ohhh, ohhhh, sooo soft.”
    
    

25. -I was wearing my hair in braids and this Chinese man came up to me and said, “That's not your hair.”
    
    

26. -“Black people are so lucky and blessed. It's like they have music inside them, the way they can dance!”
    
    

27. -At the gym in China a lady told me, “Your butt is not healthy. It’s too large.”
    
    

28. -When my husband and I first started teaching at this school, some male students were walking behind us talking to each other. They said, “Wow. It moves! Yes, it's moving! Look!”.
    
    

29. -A woman walked up to me, grabbed my butt, and called it “Delicious”.
    
    

30. -I was in Egypt admiring the Pyramids for Winter Break and a group of 50 school girls all turn around and start pointing, and then ran up to me to ask what part of Africa I was from. When my Egyptian friend responded with, "American." They lost it. For the next 10 minutes I was taking pictures with all these young girls who I guess have never seen an African-American before.
    
    

31. -I'm telling my kindergarten students what we will all wear for our performance the following day (white tops and black bottoms). I repeat this several times so they can remember. Then one student said, “But Ms. Ivy, your arms and face are black.” *crickets from the whole class*
    “It's okay, I can still wear a white shirt.”
    

1. -A Pakistani cab driver asked me if I was from Africa. I told him, “No, I’m American.”
   “How can you be from America if you are black?”
   “There are many blacks in America.”
   “But your parents or grandparents were born in Africa, right?"
   “Yes, but hundreds of years ago.”
   (Then he looked at me, as if he had won the argument).
   

---

Sooooooo, let’s all agree to stay in school, yeah?

As African-Americans make up less than 5% of the entire U.S. study abroad population, there’s no wonder as to why some of these lingering thoughts are held by so many. As I’ve added my own personal experiences to the latter list, it’s a subtle reminder that many older generations who were born before the time of leisure travel and mainstream media, really have no reason to keep up with the western world today. And most don’t. So the things they learned in school with The Flinstones back then, still hold true for them today.

This is yet another reason why I’ve fallen in love with travel. Not only are you a pillar of knowledge as you represent the shade of skin that formerly carried weight on just one side of the spectrum, but you’re able to share with others the uniqueness of your ethnicity. Whether you’re Latin-American, Indian-American, Asian-American, or any other first-generation American breed, you don’t know what type of positive reinforcement you can be until you put yourself out there, travel, and change the way people view you and others like you.

Ignorance is only from a lack of firsthand experience, propagated stereotypes through the media, and miseducation from passed down “knowledge”.

We all know that traveling changes and humbles you in a way no other experience can, but imagine how much more rewarding it becomes when you can educate and inspire others along the way.

So hi, world. Yes, I’m African-American. But that does not mean I was born in Africa. Yes, you can touch my hair if you ask -- politely. No I’ve never met Obama... yet. Yes, you can randomly take a picture of me to send to your parents. Yes, you can also take a selfie with me for your friends. No, I’m not some type of foreign exhibit from a museum. No, I won’t be your fantasy version of a “Beyonce”, but I can be your friend. Yes, I will gladly educate you about my country, and no I will not answer to chocolate, because I am not food, I’m a person. Thank you for the questions, and kidnapping my brain cells. The next one will cost ya. ;)

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